My Steve Harvey Moment

I’m sure most of you if not all of you heard of or watched the “Steve Harvey moment” on Miss Universe 2015 finale (If you live under a rock and didn't hear about it, click here) 

Now, I cannot even imagine how Steve felt in that moment. If that happened to me, I would wish the ground would just open and suck me in. However, at the end of the whole show I felt it was okay to refer to Steve as a hero. I think we need more people like him in our generation, not people who will make silly mistakes anyhow oh lol. People who will drop their pride, take responsibility for their mistake and apologise the way Steve did (“see the way you're calling him by his first name and he’s older than your father” - shoutout to our African Aunties out there NO SHADE haha) 

[Moving on..]

This thing I call the “Steve Harvey Moment” is something that is common to us all. We have all made various kinds of mistakes at some point in our lives. However, many of us NEVER take responsibility for them. We blame everyone else, If some of us were in Mr. Steve’s shoes we would have said the fault was from the producers, the writing on the card was not legible enough, or even gotten someone else to clean up your mess for you. 

I Know someone who is challenged with anger and the very few times we talked about it, their response was “it’s not my fault, I inherited it from my dad”. 

Some of us are always quick to push the responsibility of our mistakes to others. You fail your exam, you say the lecturer is wicked or they “eat marks” (Nigerians I hail oh lol) and at least one person on that course would get an excellent grade ("Do they have two heads?"). Have you ever thought maybe if I made more time for my books I’ll be one of those who did well on their tests? Your marriage is going downhill you blame everyone else but yourself. Your child becomes a drug addict you say its the bad friends they keep… Sir, where were you when he was keeping them (they don't get addicted in one day). The bible says in Proverbs 22:6 “Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old he will not depart from it” - Don’t leave a nanny to train your child for you, give them adequate attention, teach them the values of life from when they are young (Please don't get me wrong: I’m not saying some children/youths are not to blame for their own misfortune, but some parents who are equally guilty are very quick to point fingers here and there).

This “taking responsibility for your mistake” game is a hard one to play. We think of the shame, what will people say? or some other times pride just takes over.. makes us believe we are bigger than that mistake or we feel too big to admit them.. so pointing fingers seems legit at that point. 

In that argument you just had, you were so convinced you were right and your friend/husband/fiancé/sister was totally wrong and should apologise right? have you ever tried to think that maybe, just maybe you're to blame as well?

IT IS TIME to start taking responsibility for your own mistakes. They are YOUR mistakes after all. I know it can be really hard to do, sometimes its easier to just push the blame around. Yes Steve Harvey taking responsibility for his mistake brought him shame, my guy even got death treats from the Columbians 😫. Personally I feel like the initial shame you’ll feel would pass but on the long run your conscience is clear, you feel that freedom and pride in yourself for cleaning up your own mess.

All this long story I just wrote is me saying to you all - “take responsibility for your damn mistake!!!!” 

April Favourites 

Americanah by Chimamanda Ngozi Adiche - Novel

Couple of days - Movie 

PS: Thank you all for reading, sharing and leaving comments on my previous post. I hope at least one person got encouraged. I hope you enjoyed this one too? Please read, share and leave a comment (contributions or suggestions are welcome)

How To Get Away With Depression

My life has passed through many phases. The good, the bad and the ugly, many times I have been extremely happy and grateful for life. Some other times, I have been sad and depressed asking God why He wouldn't just take my life. I have seen immense failure and I have also been successful. Basically, my life has been a roller coster. I understand that may sound cliche, however, I feel like after reflecting on my journey in life so far I have gained the ‘right’ to say my life has been like a roller coster.

They say when life gives you lemons you make lemonade, it just seemed like my lemons had little or no juice in them to make my damn lemonade. I’m sorry for ranting here… actually, no I'm not sorry its my blog right? haha

Anyway…

I’m at one of those stages in my life where I'm loosing the will to live, I just want to stay in my bed, eat junk food, be depressed and watch Netflix. This is a dangerous place to be and the reason I'm “ranting” here is to encourage myself by trying to encourage someone possibly going through a similar challenge. If you, for whatever reason, find yourself at such a stage you just need to say/do the following…

1. First, you need to say out loud THE DEVIL IS A LIE - I know how people say (including me) that we human beings tend to blame the devil a lot and that we should just learn to take more responsibilities for ourselves and all that shenanigan. Well, I'm not saying you should blame the devil or anything, all I’m doing is pointing out what the bible says in John 10:10a that the “devil comes only to steal and kill and destroy..” So when you are going through such a stage in your life, don't allow the devil to steal your joy and kill or destroy you through depression. Don’t allow the devil take advantage of a minor trial in your life, remember when there is life there is hope and there is a time for everything, this too shall pass. So you need to say out loud, “the devil is a lie, you will not steal my joy or kill my spirit! I will overcome” 

1. You need to ask for GOD’s STRENGTH - It not as complicated as we make it seem, sometimes its as easy as just uttering the words “Lord, give me strength” keep saying it as many times as you need too and boom you begin to feel stronger, like you can take whatever mountain before you down. Isaiah 40:29 “He gives strength to the weary and increase the power of weak”

1. EAT RESPONSIBLY - Research shows that there is a link between binge eating and depression. By the way, gluttony is a sin. If you're a foodie like me (some of y’all are still living in denial haha), sometimes, especially when you feel depressed, food seems to make you feel better. Well, you only feel better temporarily because when you're done being depressed (trust me you will be done, its just a phase), all you’ll be is FAT - leave the ice creams, burgers and pizzas alone - FOOD wont fix it, JESUS will. 

1. DO NOT ISOLATE yourself - you don't want to be by yourself when you're feeling depressed or like I would describe it “loosing the will to live”. This is for obvious reasons, when you isolate yourself you get more and more depressed. Its just like when you're trying to get somewhere and you have an idea of the where you're going but then you mix it up and you take the wrong turn, if you're not able to realise quickly, the further you go into the “wrong turn” it becomes harder to trace your steps back and you may even get lost or your journey time is doubled. Isolating yourself is the ‘wrong turn’. I understand that you may really really want to be by yourself, if this is you then make sure you don't stay idle, occupy your mind (read, pray, watch something that will distract you from your own thoughts etc) 

1. EXERCISE - I don’t have a lot to say on this, however, I know this is definitely something to do to release stress. Working out works wonders. Its as simple as that.

1. RETAIL TERAPY - now I don’t know if this would work for guys but for all my sister friends out there, y’all know this works like magic. Even if you don't have a lot of money to splurge, feed your eyes on the ones you cannot afford and get one or two things you can actually afford. You don't want to spend all your money in the name of depression because when you come out of that phase all you’ll be is B-R-O-K-E. 

Very quickly, here are a few things I think you shouldn't do..

• Don’t try and sleep away your sorrow, get up and get busy.
• Don’t resort to alcohol or/and drugs, your problems would become way more than just depression.
• Try not to make important life decisions during this period.

There are a lot more you should or shouldn't do when life seems to be hard on you. However, this is all I've got today. I hope this helps somebody...☺️

Have a blessed year ahead guys. 🎉🎉

March Favourites 

• War room - A MUST see movie
• Redeeming Love by Francine Rivers - Novel 

PS - I know I haven't been here in like 2 years but I guess you can say I'm back now. I would like to write more often, if anyone of my very few readers has any suggestions on topics or life issues that you’ll like to know my perspective on. Please leave a comment below. 

                                                  THANK YOU ALL FOR READING xx

WHO'S YOUR DADDY?

There I was watching a video clip of this little south African girl on a talent show and she was so good with her spoken words and yes she did win the whole competition but this isn't about her it's about my naive self. Just after I watched one of her videos I was blown away and what instantly came to my mind was ''hmm I need to make a name for myself oh'' and that same mind of mine was quick to give a response: ''but first you need to realise what your surname is''.

Don't get it twisted, I know my surname lol but it's not that surname my mind is talking about here. Now, let me take you on a mind blowing journey

Scenario: Lets say you were born into a family where your daddy was a farmer and your mummy was a petty trader and whatever money they got went towards feeding the family and sending ONLY the first child to school because there was no money for anything else. oh, forgot to add you have six siblings and you live in a one room apartment (yes, that kind of struggle). One hot afternoon, you were just coming from the farm with your dad and siblings and the doctor from the hospital you were born says you were switched at birth due to the negligence of the nurse on duty the night of your birth.

*to cut the long story short*

you find out that your birth father is actually Aliko Dangote.

Quick questions; are you going to be so modest and say this is the family you've known all your life so things should be left as they are OR are you going to do everything you can to get whatever benefits you should get considering your new knowledge of who your birth father is? (OK, maybe that wasn't a 'quick question' lol). But really, think about it.... in fact, I'm not only going to get 'goodies' for myself, I'll get my family out of their present situation so they can have a better life.

where am i going with this?,

I have a Father...

He is El Shaddai (all sufficient God)
He is El Roi (The strong one who sees): oya come and fight me? :p
Jehovah Jireh, (great provider): why should I lack anything?
Jehovah Shalom (the prince of peace): why should I be troubled or at war?
Jehovah Rapha (The Lord my healer): why should I be ill?

As soon as you realise all of these things, you're in a good place...

BUT REMEMBER: Just like every father, being 'naughty' can hinder the 'luxuries' from coming.. He would only give you what he deems necessary, like right now you're breathing. So, always be on Daddy's good side so He can spoil you because there's more from where that air came from.

HINT: let me share a little secrete with you *shhhh* I'm not promising but one way to get Daddy to unleash His 'bag of goodies' on you is just one simple thing: PRAISE HIM

TWO DECADES

My dearest readers, I know I haven't written anything for so long, I have been super busy.

I'm writing today because it's a special day. What's so special about today you may ask, well, there are two things: God woke me up today and it's my birthday and I just want to express my gratitude....

To God, You have been faithful even in times I have been unfaithful. You give me the most amazing gifts and most of the time I don't deserve them. You are my best friend and I love you so much. Thank you for another day. Thank you for your provision and protection. Thank you for the daily showers of blessings. Thank you for helping me to be a better me... Thank you for everything. Although I've had LOTS of hiccups in my life but you're always right there by me with a glass of water. I would say 'God bless you' but You alone are God and I will worship you until my last breath. 

To my dearest parents, you have been there for me since I was born, made sure I had everything I needed. You put my sister and I first. Ever caring, ever loving. Scolding me when I attempt being naughty (hardly ever happened, I was and still am a 'stress free' child). I would choose you as my parents again if I had too... My love for you is unconditional and I appreciate you and thank God for giving me to you both. Love You to the moon and back!

To my beautiful sister, Adenikemi I know we have a lot of fights but i'm sure most siblings do. Especially when  it's just you and I, "if I don't fight with you who will?" Lol. My love, you have no idea how thankful I am that you are my sister. You mean so much to me and I love you dearly. I pray God grants all your heart desires. GOD bless you honey!! xx

My amazing friends,
◆we fight
◆we don't check up on each other
◆we feed each other sometimes
◆pray together
◆cook together
◆we're broke together
◆rich together (sometimes you're rich without me lol)
.....I could go on with many silly things but you all are amazing and I pray for you all the time and I love you xxxx

RY family, I know I just met you guys but there's nothing like being in a group with youths who love God and individually, you are all amazing. God bless you.
P.S the highlight of my year was joining RY (Radical Youths).

All that being said, I thank God for a new year. Many more decades to come by His Grace. HAPPY BIRTHDAY OLUWADAMILOJU AYOTOMI AROYEWUN

YOUR TONGUE

Hi guys, I know it's been a long time since I blogged been super busy, anyway i'm back again and I hope you enjoy this piece.

Do you know how powerful your tongue is? Many of us don't.... we just think the function of our tongue is to taste and process food. Yes, basically you are right those are major functions of your tongue. However, that 'little' tongue of yours is a VERY powerful instrument. There are so many things your tongue is capable of doing....

Your  tongue can kill, the bible says in Proverbs 18:21 ''Death and life are in the power of the tongue'', yes it is that powerful. Also, in Proverbs 12:18 the bible says ''The words of the reckless pierce like swords, but the tongue of the wise bring healing''. Believe it or not, the words from your mouth can do a whole lot to people and even YOU. Your words can either cause 'damage' or bring joy. Your words can kill in ways you might not even realise, always expressing  that so called 'opinion' of yours may sometimes cause damage.

For instance, a little boy who didn't seem so bright from a tender age, and rather than getting the encouragement/ help he should, he was always referred to as 'a fool', 'idiot', 'dunce', 'daft' etc. Such a child is not likely to feel smart EVER, he would begin to believe ''just maybe they're right, maybe I'm not smart enough, well we can't all be smart...'' All of these words have killed a part of this boy. Let me give a personal example too, when I was way younger, there was this one boy who never stop saying how UGLY i was, and I believed him. It affected so many areas of my life, contributed to my lack of confidence
, i didn't believe in myself.... (i'm not going to go into so much details lol). It took me leaving that school where the boy was to stop hearing him constantly reminding me of my ugly status :( however, soon after I started getting compliments like 'you're so pretty' 'you have nice eyes' etc at that time it was so amazing to hear that, was like I had won a medal or something, started feeling good about myself. Anyway, enough about me... it's just to show how a tongue can either make or break a person. Even to yourself, what you utter with your tongue concerning yourself always has a massive effect.

Your tongue can end your marriage, well, if not end it can lead to other marital problems draining out the peace in a household, it can affect friendship, it can affect the church etc. We just need to WATCH IT, control your tongue. Proverbs 17:28 says 'Even fools are thought wise if they keep silent, and discerning if they hold their tongues' that is, when he closes his lips, he is deemed intelligent. Its not everything you think of in your head that must come out of your mouth. Let us stop using the law of ''freedom of speech'' to hurt/kill people, we can't take words back once said so don't think an apology would completely heal the bruises caused by your tongue. Yes the constitution says you have the ''freedom of speech''. However, we all as humans not Just Christians should put a self restriction on this freedom, because no matter how nice you think you are, you are in this world not by yourself but with various different individuals whose words or actions might make you feel the need to utter words you shouldn't. I understand that people can be annoying, if someone is trying to get you to speak in such times stay silent. You may choose to come back later when you're no longer angry to speak to such person with love, ask God for wisdom and come back to talk. HOWEVER, if you still feel the need to say 'nasty' things/words that would cause damage, then KEEP YOUR MOUTH SHUT. Let us think before we talk, don't use your tongue to cause death but give life. Don't use it for both.


James 1:19-20 ''know this my beloved brothers: let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger; for the anger of man does not produce the righteousness of God''

Ecclesiastes 3:7b ''...a time to keep silence and a time to speak''

Proverbs 10:18 ''The one who conceals hatred is a lying lips, and whoever litters slander is a fool''

Psalm 52:2 ''your tongue plots destruction, like a sharp razor, you worker of deceit''

James 3:10 ''From the same mouth comes blessing and cursing. My brothers, these things ought not to be so''

 

A TEST

...and there I was sitting by myself in deep thoughts wondering... does God even hear me at all? is He paying any attention to my cry, does He even love me? sometimes I tell myself ''it's just a phase, it'll pass in no time'' but it doesn't seem like it's going to end. It just happened that soon after I lost interest in Praying, I mean it's just like putting efforts into a relationship and the other person isn't responding or even trying to make things work.....soon such a person tends to get tired right? I mean making a 'relationship' work requires efforts put in by both parties right? Yes, I felt tired of the 'relationship' and it became like a marriage of endurance, I mean the feeling of ''I want a divorce but what would people think of me'', so you stay put, not because you want to but because you have to, that's how I felt....

This feeling was on for so long until it dawn on me that as a christian I have to go through series of tests, and like a student in a test hall the lecturer would be there supervising but wouldn't say anything during the test even if the lecturer looks into your paper and sees you're having a tough time with a question he/she wouldn't say a word!! how mean of them we would think, but there was time for everyone to prepare for the test!. Anyway, I came to realise that I was going through something similar, A TEST and my 'Lecturer' although present but it didn't seem like it. I needed to pass that phase to progress but He stays quite for the test period because like every lecturer before the test they provide all the necessary resources you need to ace that test. And just like when you didn't prepare well for an exam or you see questions you don't expect, you feel like ''OMG they should say time up already'' it feels long when you don't  know what to write in your answer scripts.

So I went back to my 'drawing board' although it felt like it was too late to start over but I did. Soon after, things just automatically fell into place. Everything became better, You know that feeling you get when you open your exam question paper and those are the exact questions you just recently revised, well.. that's how i feel everyday... i feel prepared and I have at the back of my mind God wouldn't give me more than I can handle. I've stopped 'enduring the relationship' It feels like ''new love''. Most times the answers we need have been clearly stated in the bible but how would we know if we don't take time to study it to understand and get these answers?.

Pray without ceasing (1 Thessalonians5:17).


We shouldn't allow circumstances determine how we relate with God.
In Happy times praise God
In Difficult times seek God
In Quiet times worship God
In Painful times Trust God
and Every time Thank God